A Cruel, Unwelcome Stranger in My Family

My intentions when I started this blog were multi-fold: to express my opinions on topics I am interested in whether anyone read them or not; to hone my writing skills, since I haven't done any writing for many years; to be able to converse with those who see things as I do, and to enter into healthy debates with those whose opinions differed from mine; to learn from the postings of others, and to work out my own thoughts and ideas through expression and debate; and to post at least biweekly on the blogs I have started. Things haven't exactly worked out as I'd planned, as is common in life. Even in this slow economy, time is still at a premium because of work (thank God), and the classes I am taking take up a lot more time this semester than I thought they would. Also, even after many years of marriage, the lovely lady that puts up with me still wants to spend as much time with me as she can ( I don't know why she does, but for her I am most thankful). My mother will be 81 this year, and I like to spend as much time as I can with her. She has always been very small and fragile seeming to me, but so far her health is good, and her mind clear as crystal (again, thank God). All this takes up a great deal of time, as I'm sure everyone can relate. But even as stressful as all these things may be at times, they are still positive, things that I am grateful for. I am not grateful for the new interloper into my family and home.
My mother-in-law has just this summer returned to us from an extended adventure in Egypt. She spent the last 10 years there, and really enjoyed herself. She was also able, during this time to travel in Europe, Hong Kong, Australia, and New Zealand. Not only was she able to see the sights of these places, and experience the cultures, tastes, and aromas of each, but she was actually able to live amongst the Egyptians, to see how the real Egyptians lived, learn the language (somewhat), and experience the culture of the street markets and bazaars, the religion, and witness their day to day lives, as no tourist in a guided group would ever be able to do. But even as she enjoyed all these wonderful things, my wife and I still worried about her. She was, after all, an aging woman alone in a very unstable and violent part of the world, even though Egypt may be the most stable and safe of the middle eastern countries. We implored her for years to return home, and finally this past summer she relented. My wife found her an apartment close to our home, and she bought herself a new car, a convertible, that she has wanted all her adult life. She was home, safe, settled, and secure. She was able to shop, run around in her new car, and poke about in her favorite antique shops. All seemed good. Then we started noticing the stranger. Alzheimer's!
The first symptoms we noticed were around Thanksgiving. Oh, there had been little things for some time. She talked for years about being a little forgetful, and she was becoming somewhat frail, but nothing that raised any real red-flags. But around Thanksgiving her behavior became very erratic, and progress to sometimes downright violent. She began to stumble and stagger when she walked, and her speech slurred at times. All the usual tests were done, medications adjusted and changed, and at first nothing showed up. My wife had gotten her an appointment with a neurologist at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta. The day before her appointment, she arose at about two a.m., dressed, drove to Atlanta and ate breakfast, and went to her appointment. Alone! A day early! The staff saw that something wasn't right, immediately got her some attention, and they hospitalized he on the spot.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's within a week. Her progression has been very fast. She does have good days and bad, but her doctors wouldn't release her to go home, nor even to come home with us. Two weeks after the initial diagnosis, she requires someone to be with her at all times, and as my wife and I are not wealthy, and both have to work to make ends meet, we had to get her into assisted living. The facility is nice, and on her more lucid days she seems to be happy. She says that even if we had been in financial shape to take her in, she would rather be where she is, with people her own age, and with staff around to take care of her. Still, the stress of seeing this happen to someone so vibrant and active only a few weeks before, that you love, is terrible. Breaking up her home that we moved her into only a few short months ago, taking her new car away from her, and having to take charge of every aspect of the life of a very independent and proud woman is heartbreaking. Seeing the effect of all this on my wife is heartbreaking as well.
All of this is minuscule in the happenings of the larger world, but it is now a huge part of our world.This puts politics, world events, and everything else into a new perspective. I still hope to be able to maintain this journal, and to read the thoughts and musings of others during this time, as well as be able to read a book now and again, and to spend time in the shop, and hopefully to post some of the goings-on in there. Reading, woodworking, and blogging has just become a greater source of therapy than ever.

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